Same Ground

2005-11-28T20:15:00.000+08:00

2005-11-28T20:13:00.000+08:00

wala lang

2005-11-28T20:08:00.000+08:00

I need a therapist

2005-11-01T20:50:00.000+08:00

yun lang..just want to say i need therapy..so bad..
i think im going shopping. ciao!

Happy birthday

2005-11-01T20:30:00.000+08:00

This is a greeting card that is never going to be sent to him...

Dear ____,

Happy birthday! i hope you are happy from where you are. i pray that from now on you will live a life full of love and contentment. May God keep you safe from harm. I would never want to see you hurt. I love you always. Remember me in my silence, because i am willing to let you go and remain far away so that you could find what you seek to be happy. I have no regrets in knowing you. You brought so much life and hope to my once hopeless heart. I want to thank you despite what happened because I learned that I still have the capability to love someone in spite the pain...I can still be a loving and trusting person in God. I will be forever grateful to God for the moments that we spent with each other. All those years. We have been given so many times together. I guess it is fate's way of telling me that you could never be mine. My world is spinning in disagreement but I have to follow what is right. You chose her. I respect that. I promise not to resolve into bitterness and anger. Instead I wish you everything that I could not give you. Goodbye.

Always,
Anna

im happy it's over...

2005-10-29T14:05:00.000+08:00

im happy it's over...

there's no 'what ifs'..no buts ..no regrets
there's a lighter feeling of finally finding answers to my questions
and knowing that it's time to move on.
Closure's done. it's over.
He chose her. and i could live with that.
He said that he will learn to love her.
And i'm fine with that.
The good thing is that it's clear. He didn't want me.
And now i know that now.
im just happy...
he finally had the guts to confess.

Fall to Pieces

2005-10-08T17:57:00.000+08:00

It must have been love. It could have been fate. Whatever it was..it could be too late. Too late for me to see.

Don't you wonder why sometimes a drop of tear just falls down your cheek when you least expect it? And in the middle of your finals? and in the middle of a comedic movie? hehe..i could be turning nuts..

It's just that there are times when you're caught off guard. when you're weak and you think you can't handle it..

Still feel broken...will it ever be whole again? wait..it was never whole in the first place anyway.

:(

Cuter!!!

2005-09-21T21:30:00.000+08:00

What trust?!

2005-09-21T21:25:00.000+08:00

TRUST is a very important factor for all relationships. When trust is
broken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of trust leads to
suspicion, suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity and enmity may
result in separation.

Sorry for the stupid things

2005-09-12T20:40:00.000+08:00

Have u listened to babyface's new song? i wished he'd say that...but no..he's as manhid as he had always been. I dont know if i want to be his friend..but then again I have to learn to forgive...whatever..

Been sooo busy with school stuff...school,site,drafting table,computer,bed,school,site,drafting table, computer, bed,,,routine.

Why do i feel that i am not making sense?

Prayer is an effective way of solving stress :)

2005-08-31T23:17:00.000+08:00

I have learned that having a daily quiet time with God really works wonders. I cannot explain the feeling or the big improvement in my time management but I can testify that it works. My typical excuse: "I'm too busy!" I have deadlines to finish or exams. During those times...I thought of me, me and me. I forgot to look at other people's needs. I forgot about God. But God has a way of luring me back..and the stress and anxiety, panic and chaos just faded away. The moment I stopped everything that i was doing. The moment that I opened the Bible and read the scripture. whew! It brought peace in my mind and cleared all my worries. i know this is not appealing to most people. But I write this..not to say that reading the Bible is the only way to gain peace but to just remind you that God is always here. He is waiting for you. He listens to you. And He is someone who won't forget about you even if you do. What I'm trying to say is that...I hope you do not forget about the one who loves you unconditionally. Try spending a few minutes talking to God. And I can assure you that the results will be beyond your expectations. :)

" Rejoice in the Lord always, and again I say rejoice. Do not worry about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. Then the peace of Christ, which surpasses all understanding will keep your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4: 4-7

So cute...

2005-08-08T23:58:00.000+08:00

Kitty w/ teddy

Tale as old as time...

2005-07-31T15:42:00.000+08:00

It's just a line from the song i'm listening to right now...one of my fave movies ever! hehe...

I thought i saw him today...

I was attending mass in my parish and halfway pooh! (no it's not coco crunch) there 'it' was five rows in front of me was this guy... almost everything was right about him except that he was wearing a green shirt. haha. i knew he'd never wear a green shirt. my heart could have stopped beating for a second...i panicked..not because of the possibility of running across him..but i felt this sudden joy and pain (at the same time? yes) weird? tell me about it. it's just pathetic trying to catch a glimpse of his face, knowing so well it wasnt what i was looking for. it's complicated. i was so distracted towards the end of the mass that i wish my view would just be blocked...anyway during communion..i saw his face.

It wasnt him. (why did i even bother?)

Whatever..that's all i want to say.

I wish that time will heal these wounds faster...

2005-07-22T23:17:00.000+08:00

I wish that time will heal these wounds faster...
Even though time flies so fast because I am busy, it doesn' t take away the pain..
And everyday..I don't know why I dwell so much on "why"? instead of just being happy that he was mine for awhile. And that those memories will never be gone. I focus on the pain, the deceit..the hurt. why, oh why? i guess only time can heal me..i just have to wait.

Cool by Gwen Stefani

2005-07-20T23:24:00.000+08:00

Cool by Gwen Stefani

It's hard to remember how it felt before
Now I found the love of my life
Passes things, get more comfortable
Everything is going right
And after all the obstacles
It's good to see you now with someone else
And it's such a miracle that you and me are still good friends
After all that we've been through
I know we're cool
I know we're cool
We used to think it was impossible
Now you call me by my new last name
Memories seem like so long ago
Time always kills the pain
Remember Harbor Boulevard
The dreaming days where the mess was made
Look how all the kids have grown, oh
We have changed but we're still the same
After all that we've been through
I know we're cool
I know we're cool
Yeah, I know we're cool
And I'll be happy for you
If you can be happy for me
Circles and triangles
And now we're hanging out with your new girlfriend
So far from where we've been
I know we're cool
I know we're cool
C-cool, I know we're cool
I know we're cool

Office pic

2005-07-14T20:25:00.000+08:00

I'm really working here..haha! does it look real?

I wish I knew...

2005-06-29T21:37:00.000+08:00

I wish I knew... I wish somebody warned me beforehand... I wish I did not have to make mistakes... I wish I knew everything before it hit me. I wish I did not have to hit the wall... I wish I was selfish. I wish I kept you to myself... I wish you were my deep dark secret... I wish...

Rainy days, but not quite yet..

2005-06-24T21:22:00.000+08:00

The change of weather is unbelievable. During daytime, the heat is unbearable. The sky is clear and blue. But at night, it rains like cats and dogs. (fyi: I got the drenched the other night) You know the summer season is supposedly over. The rain has come. But not quite yet. It's like the weather doesn't know what it wants. It's in the middle of something. It sometimes looks like it but then it's not. Am i making sense? at all? well i just feel like the weather. I know what i'm supposed to do, where i'm supposed to be. I know i am almost there in that place called happiness, but not quite yet. I haven't faced my darkest fears. I try to avoid it. I try to refuse it. But it just keeps on coming back..and when it does i can't help myself.

I'm only dreaming...

2005-06-16T22:38:00.000+08:00

Just finished reading my posts since January. It has been different since then. My sadness and denial stage gone overboard...new hope and hapiness spring forth. I have cried enough. It's time to stop dreaming of what could have been and start dreaming of meeting someone new "in the near future". This summer has been everything but boring. It showed me a glimpse of hapiness awaiting me if I just hold on to my belief that God will never abandon me. If I offer my broken spirit and tired heart..I know I could make it through. I met so many people this year. More than the usual I am used to. And I found it refreshing. I saw meaning instead of doubt. I felt comfort instead of fear and intimidation. My parents realized that I have matured into someone whom I'm sure I want to be. I am a clean slate. no secrets. I am free.

The Day You Said Goodnight...literally

2005-06-15T21:40:00.000+08:00

The Day You Said Goodnight
[ Hale ]
Take me as you are,
Push me off the road
the sadness,
I need this time to be with you
I’m freezing in the sun;
I’m burning in the rain
The silence;
I’m screaming,
Calling out your name.

And i do reside in your light
Put out the fire with me and find
Yeah you’ll lose the side of your circles
That’s what i’ll do if we say goodbye.

To be is all i gotta be
And all that i see
And all that i need this time
To me the life you gave me
The day you said goodnight.

The calmness in your face
That i see through the night
The warmth of your light is pressing unto us
You didn’t ask me why
I never would have known oblivion is falling down.
And i do reside in your hear
Put out the fire with me and find
Yeah you’ll lose the side of your circles
That’s what i’ll do if we say goodbye.

To be is all i gotta be
And all that i see
And all that i need this time
To me the life you gave me
The day you said goodnight.

If you could only know me like your prayers at night
Then everything between you and me will be all
Right.
To be is all i gotta be
And all that i see
And all that i need this time
To me the life you gave me
The day you said goodnight.

She’s already taken,
She’s already taken
She’s already taken me
She’s already taken,
She’s already taken
She’s already taken me.
The day you said goodnight

Nothing to say

2005-06-13T14:33:00.000+08:00

I love the busy life...I love my life...even though it's not easy to love it sometimes...

Hiya..it's been awhile.

2005-06-05T11:58:00.000+08:00

Well what can i say? im home alone again.......... i got sick last friday and im still recovering from that awful indigestion of eating to much sashimi/ raw tuna...argh...i bow never to overeat again EVER. cause it's so awful..plus im having fever on and off.. i could be extremely hot one minute then...well...normal..haha...i must have done something that i shouldnt have done while i was sick...i do remember it..but i wish i didnt...im not making sense, am i? err..umm...gottogo ;p

It's been awhile...

2005-05-16T21:32:00.000+08:00

Too many things have been happening and i dont really have the time to tell you what's going on in my life. But then again, when i do have the time...like what i have now..I just want to go on typing...even if it doesnt make any sense to the ones who could be reading this..kung meron nga ba..haha. It's been three months since...ykw i think im so much better now than i was before. i dont torture myself into wishful thinking anymore. i've let go of hoping for things to be back the way they were..i only think of it..like twice a day..well maybe more today..cause it got me into a reminiscent mood. i have a new crush now..super cute..paolo name niya...i hope he wont find out about this blog...(cross fingers) ah shit...just realized that i have a thing for guys who look smart..and are smart....wahaha...argh..

YA Camp! Astig!

2005-05-02T11:30:00.000+08:00

Just got back yesterday...whew! it's been a blast! Astig grabe! ;) so tired but so happy.
This is probably one of the biggest camps i've attended. get this..over a hundred participants!!!
I feel so blessed and loved by God. He is truly worthy to be praised! hehe.. To be given the opportunity to serve Him is my pleasure and my reward. I couldn't ask for more... :)
YA Astig!!!!!

Home at Last

2005-04-24T18:23:00.000+08:00

It's been a hectic week. I didnt get to write bout my practicum. And for some reason i dont feel like telling about it..bad mood today..hehe..it's so hot..i must have forgotten bout the hot and humid weather that we have because i spend most of time confined in a cool office environment..i get to wear long sleeves during the summer...wahaha...anyway...im alone in the house again. my dad and my bro are in a car show. they wanted me to come along but i said that there's nothing better than spending some quality time with my adorable cats and watching television and writing my blog..it really feels like im writing on my diary...except that it's open for viewing...hehe...oh and yeah my friendster list is gone AGAIN! why? oh why?i havent done my prayer time for a week and im so hungry to listen to God...maybe that's why i feel so empty...here we go again...

im still thinking about him...not as pathetic but still strong..gets? as in...if he calls right this minute...i'd cry...ok maybe im not yet over the "im so pathetic part"...good thing he doesnt know bout this blog.hehe..and don't you spill it!

First Day!!!

2005-04-18T22:22:00.000+08:00

Happy happy... :)

Especially for you...

2005-04-16T23:14:00.000+08:00

1a:]
Especially for you
I wanna let you know what i was going through
All the time we were apartI thought of you
You were in my heart
My love never changed
I still feel the same

[1b:]
*especially for you
*i wanna tell you i was feeling that way too
*and if dreams were wings, you know
*i would have flown to you
*to be where you are
No matter how far
+and now that i'm next to you

[1c:]
*no more dreaming about tomorrow
*forget the loneliness and the sorrow
I've got to say
+it's all because of you

[chorus:]
+and now we're back together, together
+i wanna show you my heart is oh so true
+and all the love i have is
+especially for you

[2:]
Especially for you
I wanna tell you, you mean all the world to me
*how i'm certain that our love was meant to be
*you changed my life
You showed me the way
+and now that i'm next to you
*i've waited long enough to find you
*i wanna put all the hurt behind you
Oh,
+and i wanna bring out all the love inside you,
+oh

[chorus:]You were in my heart
My love never changed

you know who you are...

Akap by Imago :' (

2005-04-16T23:10:00.000+08:00

Akap

Nagtatanong
Bakit mahirap sumabay sa agos
Ng iyong mundo

Nagtataka
Simple lang naman sana ang buhay
Kung ika'y matino

[chorus]
Sabihin sakin lahat ng lihim mo
Iingatan ko
Ibaling sakin ang problema mo
Kakayanin ko
Pikit mata
Kong iaalay ang buwan at araw
Pati pa sapatos kong suot

Nagtataka
Simple lang naman sana ang buhay
Kung ika'y matino

[chorus]
Sabihin sakin lahat ng lihim mo Iingatan ko
Ibaling sakin ang problema mo
Kakayanin ko

[bridge]
Sasamahan ka sa tamis
Sasamahan ka sa pait
Sasamahan ka sa dilim
Sasamahan ka hanggang langit
Sasamahan ka sa tamis
Sasamahan ka sa pait
Sasamahan ka sa dilim
Sasamahan ka hanggang langit

[chorus]
Sabihin sakin lahat ng lihim mo
Iingatan ko
Ibaling sakin ang problema mo
Kakayanin ko

Taning by Imago

2005-04-16T23:06:00.000+08:00

sa'n mapupulot ang pag asa
may katuwiran ba ang sana
ngiti ko ang iyong galak
langit ko ang iyong kandungan

Refrain:
permiso sa isang araw na
makasama ka
abiso ng pusong bulag
na humahanga

Chorus:
tama bang aminin na
nating may taning itong pag ibig natin
dakila man walang kasaysayang kakapit
sa bulag na pag ibig

Verse:
san hihingi ng patawad
kung walang dahilan
tangis ko ang yong luha
nais ko ang iyong kalayaan

Refrain pattern

I'm so happy again : )

2005-04-15T20:20:00.000+08:00

My hard work for the past sem paid off! I'm just happy that i'm finally getting the grades that i deserve...well..except for id 131. ;p thanks to God who helped me through those hard times...if u know what i mean..

I have the JOB!

2005-04-14T09:30:00.000+08:00

Im sitting here alone in front of the computer again...walang magawa..
Everyone's out of TOWN! Except me.. my dad's in pampanga. my mom's in a plane. my bro's in subic. How Fun! so i thought i'd celebrate..(haha) I got the ojt in Palafox Associates.. architectural firm. i'll be in makati everyday till the 26. grabe im not even sure if i could commute all by myself.
And i'd be working for 9-6 pero 50 hours lang naman..
tapos after furniture company naman in antipolo...like sooo far...4-5 rides...
am i complaining too much? dont mind me. i love naman what im doing.. excited lang ako..

I love summer

2005-04-05T20:58:00.000+08:00

I love summer...yun lang..i hope to find a job soon! no, i haven't graduated yet. it's an OJT thing.
Just love doin' nothing...hehe

Vacation at Last!!!

2005-04-02T15:05:00.000+08:00

Hehe..actually this is my first saturday of vacation!!!
Very memorable lang. i am so happy to be home alone!
:) This house hasn't been this quiet for awhile.. forget about my post on being bitter,
that's all.

Somebody I Never Had....

2005-03-23T22:06:00.000+08:00

...i want to stop being bitter... :'(

Tell Me where it Hurts

2005-03-23T21:56:00.000+08:00

Tell Me Where It Hurts

Why is that sad look in your eyes
Why are you crying?
Tell me now, tell me now
Tell me, why you're feelin' this way
I hate to see you so down, oh baby!
Is it your heart
Oh, that's breakin' all in pieces
Makin' you cry
Makin' you feel blue
Is there anything that I can do

[CHORUS:]
Why don't you tell me where it hurts now, baby
And I'll do my best to make it better
Yes, I'll do my best to make the tears all go away
Just tell me where it hurts
Now, tell me
And I love you with a love so tender
Oh and if you let me stay
I'll love all of the hurt away

Where are all those tears coming from
Why are they falling?
somebody, somebody, somebody leave your heart in the cold
You just need somebody to hold on, baby
(Give me a chance)To put back all the pieces
Take hold of your heart
Make it just like new
There's so many things that I can do

[Chorus][Instrumental]
Is it your heart
Oh, that's breakin' all in pieces
Makin' you cry
Makin' you feel blue
Is there anything that I can do

[CHORUS]
Tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me baby
Tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me
And I'll do my best to make it better
Yes, I'll do my best to make the tears all go away
Just tell me where it hurts
Now, tell me
And I love you with a love so tender
Oh, and if you let me stay
I'll love all of the hurt away

Waaahhhh............. :(

Over...

2005-03-23T21:47:00.000+08:00

I watched the walls around me crumble
But its not like I won't build em up again
So here's your last chance for redemption
So take it while it lasts because it will end
And my tears are turning into time
I've wasted trying to find a reason for goodbye

[Chorus:]I cant live without you
Can't breathe without you
I dream about you honestly
Tell me that its over
Because the world is spinning and
I'm still living
It wont be right if were not in it together
Tell me that it's over
And I'll be the first to go
Don't want to be the last to know

I won't be the one to chase you
But at the same time you're the heart that I call home
I'm always stuck with these emotions
And the more I try to feel the less I'm whole
My tears are turning into time
I've wasted trying to find a reason for goodbye

[Chorus]
My tears are turning into time
I've wasted trying to find a reason for goodbye

[Chorus]Tell me that it's overOver
Honestly tell me
Honestly tell me
Don't tell me that its over
Don't tell me that its over..

New phone : )

2005-03-05T19:58:00.000+08:00

Just happy to have a new phone... ;p Sooo tired...this week was crazy..and hectic..haha. peace.

Kitchie Concert

2005-03-03T15:57:00.000+08:00

It was a blast sobra!!! :) It was sooo worth it..despite my fever and the chills..i really like her songs..hehe..and siyempre, cant go home without her autograph..
im not normally like this especially to a local artist..she's the first one. Basta masaya!!!

Happy again : )

2005-02-23T14:51:00.000+08:00

I've finally finished my cad exercises! whew! im so happy! :) sna lagi na lang ganito... masaya.

So much better...

2005-02-22T14:00:00.000+08:00

Now that i've said everything i needed to tell you..i feel so much better. i think i can move on...
I lost my pride but i have no regrets because i did what i knew was right.. and that is to tell you I love you. NO Regrets...

And why?

2005-02-12T13:52:00.000+08:00

Can't let you know...im dying inside...how could you?

I want to Give Up...

2005-02-11T21:48:00.000+08:00

I just want to cry...

Im getting better...I hope...

2005-02-10T13:59:00.000+08:00

Im getting better at ignoring this pain. getting better of thinking less of you...getting better at pretending im okay when im not...getting better at showing you i couldnt care less..im getting better everyday...

Why is it hard?

2005-01-29T14:59:00.000+08:00

Why is it hard to leave you? Why am I in pain? Why is my mind filled with things of the past? Please break this spell that you placed on me. You have lied long enough for me to lose my trust on you...ano ba itong sinasabi ko? change topic..chem exam tomorrow & i remember him still...wahahaha...go away!

When you're gone...When i'm gone...

2005-01-28T22:59:00.000+08:00

I can't breathe...it's not the same. I'm just gonna have to get used to it...
Lord knows im struggling...

Nanana

2005-01-27T13:10:00.000+08:00

Nanana

2005-01-26T21:07:00.000+08:00

Can't u see im avoiding you? Can't you feel that we're not the same as we used to be? Don't you realize that it's over?

Struggles...

2005-01-19T12:33:00.000+08:00

It's not easy to stay away from old habits..things you're so used to suddenly have to be changed. And you cant do anything about it. because you simply cant control things happening around you...basta magulo...

In the dark

2005-01-16T09:40:00.000+08:00

I have to let you go because you do not feel as strongly for me as I thought you did. I have to free myself from the spell that you've binded on me. I have tried to be there for you. I have tried to understand you but you do not seem to need me. You do not realize that you're pushing me away. You did not choose me. You chose to be silent and that is the reason why I need to leave you. because you do not realize what you have.

Sana Naman

2005-01-11T01:37:00.000+08:00

Sana naman...matapos na homework ko...kaka-tamad na..hehehe
Can't help thinking about "___" ....argh! basta im not going to lose... im stronger now.. ur probably wondering what im thinking about... ako rin...hehe..labo!

Cool off by Session Road

2005-01-11T01:29:00.000+08:00

Ayoko na munang makita ka. Ayoko na munang makasama ka. Gusto ko na munang mapag-isa. Siguro'y ito na nga...intindihin mo na. kelangan lang nating ng pahinga. Palayain ang isa't isa. kung tayo, tayo talaga. ...love the song...am i a fool for thinking this way? fed on the strangeness of you..i see myself falling from grace..my love fading without a trace..hahaha...

New Year...New Life

2005-01-10T13:28:00.000+08:00

well supposed to be anyway..but im still back to my old habits...im cramming late as usual.I hate to admit it. I want to be the best interior designer...but that wont happen until i change my attitude..hehe..im listening to session road's cd..deep grabe..hehe. pero my name stands for something that has to do with kitchie's cd. love it talaga. di na nga new year actually..just felt like saying new year coz this is my first entry...peace. ;p

2005-01-09T22:02:00.000+08:00

= )

2005-01-09T21:58:00.000+08:00

In Hello Kitty Gallery...

2005-01-09T21:52:00.000+08:00

Lantern parade